The next couple of days were filled with work… I managed to get 12 or so surveys in, but I’ve gotten no interviews so far (except with the doctor, the med students working at the clinic, and the other CRHF staff). Next week, I have to start getting more surveys and interviews. Also, I’m thinking about changing some of the interview and survey questions…. Maybe to make it shorter? The 1-5 scale just isn’t working out as planned currently. At least my Spanish was improving. I picked up on some local dialect, so that has helped me understand people’s questions when they ask my about my survey (this is when I feel the most “stuck” …….. when people ask me about MY surveys, and yet I can’t answer them because I don’t know what they’re saying). Lucklily, I’ve got my script in my head all planned out, so the introduction goes smoothly mostly. People mostly choose either 1 or 5…… wow. This could be trouble… but we’ll see as time goes on if this is still the pattern. Maybe my questions need adjusting….
Then, the next day was July 4th. On July 4th, I went to a fourth of July celebration….. there was a basketball hoop, and I wanted to play. But there was no ball. The fourth of July celebration was for only U.S. citizens, so we all had to show our passports before going in. I thought that was funny. There was all-you-can-eat food for $4. I ate bagels, salami, hotdogs, cole slaw, ham, oh my goodness it was delicious. The people sponsoring the event made a LOT of patriotic speeches. They said how the U.S. was the best country in the world. I found the speech very patriotic, very American, and downright hilarious. They gave out a lot of stuff (primarily stuff with “I love America” messages on them). Later, I spent that night reorganizing some survey questions in my mind, and looked for my computer earphones, which were missing. I also bought a phone card, in order to call my parents.
During dinner time, something was brought up made me think. HARD. She said that when you’re taken out of the context of the U.S., it feels “freer.” She informed us that she would ABSOLUTELY live in Ecuador over the U.S., because Ecuador is completely unlike the U.S. I’m so used to working the super fast-paced life of Duke, where every second counts, and time management is such an important skill, that it felt a little strange to consider pausing, and taking in life once in awhile. But I felt that one day off, one day away from the “every second counts” life that I’ve been living, could be beneficial, especially since I’ve got my entire life to deal with that lifestyle.
And that’s what I did on July 6th. The girls and I and another volunteer went to see a volcano and a waterfall on July 6th, and they charged tourists $10 to see this stuff, but native Costa Ricans only $2. How funny… but I didn’t think that it was discrimination for some reason. I felt that Costa Ricans have a pretty widespread perception of Americans as “rich.” It wasn’t really discrimination… at least I didn’t feel that way, because I thought that the Costa Ricans weren’t “looking down” on Americans. The place was beautiful, and I did feel somewhat “lighter,” as I looked down at the volcano, if only for a couple of seconds. I was staring into clouds from a high alititude, nothing but white clouds and the nice air. It was surreal.... Also, another important thing that ran through my mind was that I felt that I needed to “submerge” myself in Costa Rican culture more… and in some strange way, being around the team is making me feel less Costa Rican and more American. In these next weeks, I need to figure out a way to be with them and yet still more fully experience the non-whitewashed aspects of Costa Rica. This will be a challenge that I need to tackle.
Plus, thinking about stuff like this was kinda funny to me, because I was Asian…. The people who come here for “cultural immersion” are mostly whites (I can count the Asians I’ve seen here with only one hand…. Well, assuming that if I’m basing my perceptions of race on physical appearances only)…. Asians don’t come to Costa Rica for cultural immersion, at least I don’t think the majority does. They go to America for that. But it’s also good that I’m here because now I’m taking my cultural experience an EXTRA step, by not only learning about American culture (which I have for the past decade and a half of my life), but also experiencing something ENTIRELY different from either Chinese or American culture. I’m becoming not bilingual, but TRILINGUAL. Thinking about that made me feel more strongly about my experience here. Also, I’m starting to understand the Costa Rican perception of Americans.
But for some reason, looming in the back of my mind, I felt that I spent the majority of my first week “adjusting” and “not enough time working.” Or maybe it’s something else….. I did spend a lot of time enjoying the scenery, and absorbing the culture, but something felt EXTREMELY UNSATISFYING. It’s time to change. I’ve got to start working intensely again. Only through this can this project be successful and rigorous enough.
And also, Alma said that we’re not here to change the world, but to gain experiences for ourselves. I know that I won’t change the world…. Absolutely not in these eight weeks, but I can change this city. I’m an undergraduate… but I can at the very least, do a project that will help these people in a more or less significant way. Yes, it’s true that I don’t feel the same intensity to fight poverty as Gail does (at least for right now), or as perhaps some of the other volunteers do, but it doesn’t change the fact that I want to produce raw outcome. Raw, tangible, useful, significant, outcome. Therefore, I have to spend today reorganizing all my questions, reorganizing my entire project, regorganize my entire work schedule and hours, to help me better accomplish this goal. Also, I would like to go around with Gail and do volunteer work with her more in La Carpio, in order to learn more about this stuff. That Sunday when I worked with the hungry street people, met Nelson, and worked in Kulut’s and Kumar’s kitchen, was the best day I’ve had here so far….. and that’s because I went around with Gail, had great conversations with her about this place, and life in general…… I NEED THOSE DAYS again. I felt like I learned A LOT that day, and I feel that it’s necessary that I get at least two of those days every week, where I learn something new and incredible about this place.
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