The next couple of days were filled with work… I managed to get 12 or so surveys in, but I’ve gotten no interviews so far (except with the doctor, the med students working at the clinic, and the other CRHF staff). Next week, I have to start getting more surveys and interviews. Also, I’m thinking about changing some of the interview and survey questions…. Maybe to make it shorter? The 1-5 scale just isn’t working out as planned currently. At least my Spanish was improving. I picked up on some local dialect, so that has helped me understand people’s questions when they ask my about my survey (this is when I feel the most “stuck” …….. when people ask me about MY surveys, and yet I can’t answer them because I don’t know what they’re saying). Lucklily, I’ve got my script in my head all planned out, so the introduction goes smoothly mostly. People mostly choose either 1 or 5…… wow. This could be trouble… but we’ll see as time goes on if this is still the pattern. Maybe my questions need adjusting….
Then, the next day was July 4th. On July 4th, I went to a fourth of July celebration….. there was a basketball hoop, and I wanted to play. But there was no ball. The fourth of July celebration was for only U.S. citizens, so we all had to show our passports before going in. I thought that was funny. There was all-you-can-eat food for $4. I ate bagels, salami, hotdogs, cole slaw, ham, oh my goodness it was delicious. The people sponsoring the event made a LOT of patriotic speeches. They said how the U.S. was the best country in the world. I found the speech very patriotic, very American, and downright hilarious. They gave out a lot of stuff (primarily stuff with “I love America” messages on them). Later, I spent that night reorganizing some survey questions in my mind, and looked for my computer earphones, which were missing. I also bought a phone card, in order to call my parents.
During dinner time, something was brought up made me think. HARD. She said that when you’re taken out of the context of the U.S., it feels “freer.” She informed us that she would ABSOLUTELY live in Ecuador over the U.S., because Ecuador is completely unlike the U.S. I’m so used to working the super fast-paced life of Duke, where every second counts, and time management is such an important skill, that it felt a little strange to consider pausing, and taking in life once in awhile. But I felt that one day off, one day away from the “every second counts” life that I’ve been living, could be beneficial, especially since I’ve got my entire life to deal with that lifestyle.
And that’s what I did on July 6th. The girls and I and another volunteer went to see a volcano and a waterfall on July 6th, and they charged tourists $10 to see this stuff, but native Costa Ricans only $2. How funny… but I didn’t think that it was discrimination for some reason. I felt that Costa Ricans have a pretty widespread perception of Americans as “rich.” It wasn’t really discrimination… at least I didn’t feel that way, because I thought that the Costa Ricans weren’t “looking down” on Americans. The place was beautiful, and I did feel somewhat “lighter,” as I looked down at the volcano, if only for a couple of seconds. I was staring into clouds from a high alititude, nothing but white clouds and the nice air. It was surreal.... Also, another important thing that ran through my mind was that I felt that I needed to “submerge” myself in Costa Rican culture more… and in some strange way, being around the team is making me feel less Costa Rican and more American. In these next weeks, I need to figure out a way to be with them and yet still more fully experience the non-whitewashed aspects of Costa Rica. This will be a challenge that I need to tackle.
Plus, thinking about stuff like this was kinda funny to me, because I was Asian…. The people who come here for “cultural immersion” are mostly whites (I can count the Asians I’ve seen here with only one hand…. Well, assuming that if I’m basing my perceptions of race on physical appearances only)…. Asians don’t come to Costa Rica for cultural immersion, at least I don’t think the majority does. They go to America for that. But it’s also good that I’m here because now I’m taking my cultural experience an EXTRA step, by not only learning about American culture (which I have for the past decade and a half of my life), but also experiencing something ENTIRELY different from either Chinese or American culture. I’m becoming not bilingual, but TRILINGUAL. Thinking about that made me feel more strongly about my experience here. Also, I’m starting to understand the Costa Rican perception of Americans.
But for some reason, looming in the back of my mind, I felt that I spent the majority of my first week “adjusting” and “not enough time working.” Or maybe it’s something else….. I did spend a lot of time enjoying the scenery, and absorbing the culture, but something felt EXTREMELY UNSATISFYING. It’s time to change. I’ve got to start working intensely again. Only through this can this project be successful and rigorous enough.
And also, Alma said that we’re not here to change the world, but to gain experiences for ourselves. I know that I won’t change the world…. Absolutely not in these eight weeks, but I can change this city. I’m an undergraduate… but I can at the very least, do a project that will help these people in a more or less significant way. Yes, it’s true that I don’t feel the same intensity to fight poverty as Gail does (at least for right now), or as perhaps some of the other volunteers do, but it doesn’t change the fact that I want to produce raw outcome. Raw, tangible, useful, significant, outcome. Therefore, I have to spend today reorganizing all my questions, reorganizing my entire project, regorganize my entire work schedule and hours, to help me better accomplish this goal. Also, I would like to go around with Gail and do volunteer work with her more in La Carpio, in order to learn more about this stuff. That Sunday when I worked with the hungry street people, met Nelson, and worked in Kulut’s and Kumar’s kitchen, was the best day I’ve had here so far….. and that’s because I went around with Gail, had great conversations with her about this place, and life in general…… I NEED THOSE DAYS again. I felt like I learned A LOT that day, and I feel that it’s necessary that I get at least two of those days every week, where I learn something new and incredible about this place.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
My 4th and 5th Day
My fourth and fifth days were hectic, and challenging. In my fourth day, I met up with Frances, Alexa, and Ann in the morning, and Gail’s hired driver, Africano, picked us all up, and then dropped us off at La Libertad, the second CRHF building that Gail had opened just awhile ago. We played with kids, and Frances and them brought a small mango plant to teach them stuff about mangos.
I finished my day very early. I had only worked for a couple hours or so. I spend the majority of the time talking to Francela, a staff member at CRHF and my translator for the next couple of weeks. We went over my survey and interview questions for correction, and then I practiced my survey and interview on her. She said that she could understand almost everything, and that the questions were good. Not much else there…. afterwards, I just sat around, watching the girls work with the kids. In the afternoon, I went out searching for a basketball court, but couldn’t find any. Therefore, I just dribbled around, did some basketball training exercises (the ones you do when you don’t have a basket), and then short sprints, and then some pushups. I packed a bunch of heavy books in my backpack (organic chemistry book, my high school yearbook, some past binders with important information from my past church, and lots of paper), so that I can use my backpack as a weight to lift around. It seemed like it was around 20 pounds. Gotta stay in shape in these next weeks, especially since it feels so strange not playing basketball virtually everyday now, like I used to during summer session I.
My fifth day was exciting…. but also difficult. In the morning, Africano picked us up like always (always… hahahaha and it’s been only two days). I separated with the girls in the morning… I went to the old clinic, and the girls went to the new clinic (called La Libertad). First, I went upstairs to the education center, and then I interacted with the adults and the kids. I couldn’t speak Spanish well, so I think the kids were laughing at me, because I just said “Si” and smiled whenever the staff members gave me some instructions. I eventually caught on though…. And realized that they wanted me to teach the kids English in the future weeks. I said sure. Later, I played with the kids…. They made me play with a dradle, but I broke it. Then, I fixed it back up. What a relief.
Then, I went downstairs at about 11:00 am, and then talked to the doctor at the clinic, about the situations of the clinic, as well as the survey and interview questions. I said that I will pretty much be working here for the next 7-8 weeks, and she seemed very welcoming. She and I conversed in half-English, half-Spanish, so that we both could understand one another. We took about an hour. I am supposed to shadow her tomorrow. I learned what the clinic has to offer (medication-wise, health-care wise, etc.). “Tommorow, I will begin my research study, finally!” This is what I thought to myself. Hopefully, all goes well.
During the afternoon, the little boys kept taking sticks, pretend they’re guns, and point them at me, saying “Chino, chino!” which I think means “Chinese, Chinese.” Obviously, I was the only Chinese person there. I felt like a minority. I tried playing with the boys and girls. Meanwhile, Gail was inside the room, having an important meeting. Gail always has important meetings, so I’m not surprised. Afterwards, we all drove home. In the car ride, the old woman sitting in the shotgun seat asked Gail who the oriental young man was. Gail said that he was me (Tony). Oriental. What a weird and funny adjective to describe someone…. I think that’s a first.
Later something was brought up something that I felt was the most intense and interesting aspect of the day. They said that during the morning hours at La Libertad, when I wasn’t there, she saw some Christian missionaries who kinda angered her. She said that they were rude in the polite way. She got into an argument with one of the men. She said that the people made the kids play with balloon swords, and took the kids away from the girls. The missionaries claimed that the conditions of the city don’t need to be improved, as long as the kids and the people know about Jesus. I knew immediately that this pissed our team off. I was a Christian. I wanted to say something, but couldn’t. I couldn’t find the right words. I didn’t ever want to sacrifice my values for the sake of pleasing people, but I also didn’t want to offend them. But I also didn’t want to stay quiet. Wow, what a dilemma. Damn it, I thought to myself. I’ve been struggling with this whole religion v.s. tolerance/open-mindedness debate in my mind for at least half a decade, and now this summer, I gonna have to face this again. But this might be a good thing. At least this will challenge me, and give me the opportunity to learn how to handle situations such as this in the future. Liberal? Conservative? Anti-this, pro-that? Evangelical? Non-evangelical?
I finished my day very early. I had only worked for a couple hours or so. I spend the majority of the time talking to Francela, a staff member at CRHF and my translator for the next couple of weeks. We went over my survey and interview questions for correction, and then I practiced my survey and interview on her. She said that she could understand almost everything, and that the questions were good. Not much else there…. afterwards, I just sat around, watching the girls work with the kids. In the afternoon, I went out searching for a basketball court, but couldn’t find any. Therefore, I just dribbled around, did some basketball training exercises (the ones you do when you don’t have a basket), and then short sprints, and then some pushups. I packed a bunch of heavy books in my backpack (organic chemistry book, my high school yearbook, some past binders with important information from my past church, and lots of paper), so that I can use my backpack as a weight to lift around. It seemed like it was around 20 pounds. Gotta stay in shape in these next weeks, especially since it feels so strange not playing basketball virtually everyday now, like I used to during summer session I.
My fifth day was exciting…. but also difficult. In the morning, Africano picked us up like always (always… hahahaha and it’s been only two days). I separated with the girls in the morning… I went to the old clinic, and the girls went to the new clinic (called La Libertad). First, I went upstairs to the education center, and then I interacted with the adults and the kids. I couldn’t speak Spanish well, so I think the kids were laughing at me, because I just said “Si” and smiled whenever the staff members gave me some instructions. I eventually caught on though…. And realized that they wanted me to teach the kids English in the future weeks. I said sure. Later, I played with the kids…. They made me play with a dradle, but I broke it. Then, I fixed it back up. What a relief.
Then, I went downstairs at about 11:00 am, and then talked to the doctor at the clinic, about the situations of the clinic, as well as the survey and interview questions. I said that I will pretty much be working here for the next 7-8 weeks, and she seemed very welcoming. She and I conversed in half-English, half-Spanish, so that we both could understand one another. We took about an hour. I am supposed to shadow her tomorrow. I learned what the clinic has to offer (medication-wise, health-care wise, etc.). “Tommorow, I will begin my research study, finally!” This is what I thought to myself. Hopefully, all goes well.
During the afternoon, the little boys kept taking sticks, pretend they’re guns, and point them at me, saying “Chino, chino!” which I think means “Chinese, Chinese.” Obviously, I was the only Chinese person there. I felt like a minority. I tried playing with the boys and girls. Meanwhile, Gail was inside the room, having an important meeting. Gail always has important meetings, so I’m not surprised. Afterwards, we all drove home. In the car ride, the old woman sitting in the shotgun seat asked Gail who the oriental young man was. Gail said that he was me (Tony). Oriental. What a weird and funny adjective to describe someone…. I think that’s a first.
Later something was brought up something that I felt was the most intense and interesting aspect of the day. They said that during the morning hours at La Libertad, when I wasn’t there, she saw some Christian missionaries who kinda angered her. She said that they were rude in the polite way. She got into an argument with one of the men. She said that the people made the kids play with balloon swords, and took the kids away from the girls. The missionaries claimed that the conditions of the city don’t need to be improved, as long as the kids and the people know about Jesus. I knew immediately that this pissed our team off. I was a Christian. I wanted to say something, but couldn’t. I couldn’t find the right words. I didn’t ever want to sacrifice my values for the sake of pleasing people, but I also didn’t want to offend them. But I also didn’t want to stay quiet. Wow, what a dilemma. Damn it, I thought to myself. I’ve been struggling with this whole religion v.s. tolerance/open-mindedness debate in my mind for at least half a decade, and now this summer, I gonna have to face this again. But this might be a good thing. At least this will challenge me, and give me the opportunity to learn how to handle situations such as this in the future. Liberal? Conservative? Anti-this, pro-that? Evangelical? Non-evangelical?
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